Archives for posts with tag: 90210

It’s been well-documented that I watched the show Beverly Hills, 90210 when it aired. Sometimes I’d watch both re-runs from 4 to 6 p.m. on FX as I worked mornings at the time.  If you watch a show often enough over an extended period off time, you can’t help but make up lyrics to it’s instrumental theme song (I crushed it in the early 80’s with “Dallas”, “Falcon Crest” and “Magnum PI”).  So without further ado, the lyrics to 90210.  Much more amusing if you watch the credits with music while reading…:


Beverly Hills, 90210 (clap-clap)

Beverly Hills, 90210 (2x)

This is the show–this is the school where they go. We call this Beverly Hills, 90210.

First there’s Brandon-he is the coolest.

Then there is Brenda-she is never wrong.

Kelly is a blonde they say she’s hot.

Steve thinks he’s cool but he’s not.

And Andrea is smarter than all the rest!

Dylan is real cool, he’s on the edge…

David is a fool, he likes to dance…

And then there’s Donna-she is a daughter…

Then there’s the parents Cindy and then there’s Jim…

That is our show…90210.

The first four seasons rolled like this before Shannen Doherty left;  then you had to make up lyrics for Jesse (Andrea’s husband), Nat, Ray Pruit, and Claire Arnold.  Hold on–how did Kathleen Robertson receive lower billing than Joe E. Tata?  The final year was especially tough to stomach;  Matt Durning and Janet did not merit nor receive personalized lyrics.


Who wants to hear my “Magnum PI” lyrics?

Nineties Night at Nats Park definitely did not go as planned.  Actually, the whole weekend didn’t go as planned.  Friday’s game with San Francisco was postponed and Saturday’s tilt was delayed…forcing the two teams to play three games in a little over 24 hours.  Let’s just say that Luke Perry didn’t throw out the first pitch on the rescheduled 90’s Night.  Not even Joe E. Tata or the guy who played the Winslow kid on “Family Matters”.

Remember the “Saved by the Bell” episode when Zack injured his knee?  Bryce Harper is more important to the Nats’ title hopes than Mark-Paul Gosselaar.  After slipping on first base Saturday night, the outfielder slips onto the disabled list with a significant bone bruise and hyperextended knee.  Thank goodness no ligaments were torn…although Harper’s agent made comments about slippery bases after rain delays.  File this for the 2018-19 offseason.

Dissecting the Division-  the magic number is now 33 as the Nats own a 14-game lead in the NL East.  Miami’s three-game sweep of Colorado keeps the Marlins not on the fringe of playoff contention, but on the “fringe of the fringe.  They’re 8.5 games behind the Rockies and Arizona for the wildcard, and if those two teams go .500 over the rest of the season Miami would need to finish 31-14.  We aren’t yet to the point where we can pinpoint the champagne celebration, but I’m sure somebody at MASN has a range of dates.

O’s Woes- the Birds climbed back to .500 for the first time since late June with their win last week at the Los Angeles Angels…only to lose two straight against their fellow Wildcard contenders.  Over the weekend against AL West cellar-dwelling Oakland, the Orioles plated 26 runs–only to leave the Bay Area with a split.  While manager Buck Showalter’s team remains 2.5 games out of the final playoff spot in the AL, they still have four teams to pass before they reach the Halos.  The dreaded west coast swing ends with three games against fellow semi-contender (that is…under .500 but still in striking distance of a playoff spot) Seattle.  The Mariners and Angels both come to Camden Yards later this month.

Last Week’s Heroes- Ryan Zimmerman hit .346 with 3 HR and 7 RBI…breaking Tim Wallach’s franchise record of 905 runs batted in.  Brian Goodwin hit .346 with 7 runs scored…and Howie Kendrick hit that grand slam Sunday night.  Gio Gonzalez won his lone start…allowing one run over 7 innings just two days after the birth of his son.  Sean Doolittle notched 3 saves.

Last Week’s Humbled- Matt Wieters hit .176…while Anthony Rendon hit .130.  AJ Cole went 0-2 with an ERA of 5.73 while Joe Blanton recorded another double-digit ERA for the week (13.50).  The way the weekend was handled amidst the weather was less than ideal;  many of the players had already changed into streetclothes and were leaving the stadium by the time the game was called at 9:48 p.m.  Instead of playing Saturday afternoon (where it did not rain in the area), they played Saturday night (and was delayed three hours) and Sundays day-night doubleheader gave the Giants a great lift as they had to leave for a series in Miami.

Game to Watch- the journey of Edwin Jackson resumes Thursday in San Diego against one of the pitcher’s 11 former teams.  The 33-year old is 3-2 over five starts with the Nats…posting an ERA of 3.30 and a strikeout to walk ratio of 25-to-7.  Problem is, Jackson hasn’t won consecutive starts since August of last year.  Which Edwin will we get?

Game to Miss- another tough call.  You don’t want to miss the two home games against the Wildcard contending Los Angeles Angels.  And even though Max Scherzer pitches at 10:10 on Friday night, every one of his outings is a must-see.  And could we be seeing Stephen Strasburg returning Saturday?  Sorry, Gio Gonzalez–your Sunday start against the Padres draws the short straw.

For some, Miami finished off San Antonio by closing the same door in game seven the Spurs couldn’t close in game six; the Heat’s 95-88 win brought confetti to the court on South Beach but awoke the echoes of “the wrong team won”. We fall for sports as kids thinking that good vanquishes evil and the that myth translates to the field, diamond, court or ice. We want to believe that if we want it enough and try our hardest-we can outwork more talented teams. But great talent trumps smart strategy…and excellent execution exceeds fantastic chemistry. So you can say the wrong team won…but whenever the Heat needed to make a play in the postseason they responded.

But I will admit the Miami Heat aren’t the easiest team to embrace. From “The Decision” to Dwyane Wade being a dirty player to Chris Bosh being a Zeppo Marx in shorts, the South Beach Big Three has more than its share of baggage. There’s the Birdman and his technicolor tatoos. There’s coach Eric Spoelstra, the Chachi to Pat Riley’s Fonzie. Then there is the fair-weather image of the Heat fans that left the arena with under a minute to play only to try to re-enter once their team they gave up on sent the game into overtime. Compared to the humble image of the San Antonio Spurs, who wouldn’t suffer on some level?

Over the years I’ve enjoyed and covered sports, there have been a few teams that I just couldn’t embrace. And while I give props to the two-time champions, I welcome them to a select club. Now I’m sure there are those that still have it in for the Broad Street Bullies of the 1970’s and how they slugged their way past the smooth skating Buffalo Sabres…just like there are Houston haters who maintain they wouldn’t have won if Jordan hadn’t retired. Your comments are welcome if I’ve missed somebody or if you have these team’s posters hanging in your room.

College Football–1984 BYU–who did they play? Definitely not anybody good in the Western Athletic Conference while the Oklahomas, Washingtons, Floridas and Nebraskas were beating each other’s brains out. Who did they play in the Holiday Bowl? A 6-5 Michigan team that was Bo Schembechler’s worst.

NHL–1995 New Jersey Devils–hello neutral zone trap…effectively bringing Mike Fratello’s Cleveland Cavaliers to the ice. Successfully turned back the hockey clock to 1934 and helped secure second class citizenship for the league (no truth to the rumor Commissioner Gary Bettman was still on the NBA payroll).

NFL–1995 Dallas Cowboys–brash, arrogant and poorly coached by a bumbling Barry Switzer. This me-first bunch boasted a gloating Michael Irvin and self-congratulatory Deion Sanders…who joined the team midseason after baseball’s spotlight waned. Thanks to a pair of poor passes by Neil O’Donnell, this smirking squad never got its comeuppance.

Baseball–1997 Florida Marlins–while some were pointing at the New York Yankees as the best team money could buy…the Marlins were actually pieced together in a mercenary style that would put the Boba Fett and IG-88 to shame. Buoyed by a pair of classic clubhouse cancers in Gary Sheffield and Bobby Bonilla, the Marlins won a World Series and then held a fire sale–setting the standard for cut-and-run franchises.

College Basketball–2012 Kentucky–we know college hoops is more about hoops than college, but the rotating door of one-and-dones in Lexington recently made 90210’s Valerie Malone look stable. Add the Big Blue royal expectations…a subpar SEC…and a coach who took two schools to the Final only to have both trips vacated by the NCAA…and you’ve got a champ you appreciate but can’t really embrace. And that’s not even accounting for Anthony Davis’ unibrow.

Giving up is not the easiest thing to do…even when it is the necessary thing to do.   It means we admit we’ve either made a mistake or it’s time to try something new. And nobody wants to admit they’ve erred or go away from what they’re used to attempting.  Much like Dr. Evil in “Austin Powers” after unveiling two outside the box schemes proved faulty…”Oh, what the hell– let’s just steal a nuclear weapon like we always do!”  We’re like that with TV shows. And that’s one reason I try to limit my viewing–because just as I was on the hook for the final unwatchable two three four seasons of 90120, I don’t do well departing a series I’m invested in (for the record, “9-0” became unwatchable after Dylan left the show following his new bride’s murder).

That said– I began the season with four shows in my rotation with a fifth joining the club this winter…

Dallas– Yes, I was stuck on the Ewing schemes in the 80’s well after the “Dream Season”.  There was no way I could avoid getting sucked in to this Lone Star State sized sinkhole.  And let the record show, if they ever reboot “Happy Days”, “Cheers” and “Tales of the Gold Monkey” at the same time like they’re doing next summer with “24”, I’m going to be worthless.  How could you resist the 21st century update to JR, Bobby, Sue Ellen & Cliff?  By having the kids be annoying as hell.  JR’s kid is the “schemer”, yet seems like he can’t solve short division problems.  Bobby’s son’s answer to everything is shouting…and Cliff’s daughter went from smart scammer to dumb damsel in one season.  At least Bobby married the woman who played Sue Ellen Michke on “Seinfeld” (although there’s no mention of the Mars family fortune).  Sadly, Larry Hagman’s death brought a narrative dampener midseason.  While the show gave JR a proper sendoff and tied up loose ends nicely, I don’t know if a third season is necessary.

Mad Men– Oh, if only JR met Don Draper.  Bourbon and branch meets the Old Fashioned.–they would have had one heck of a time in Big D or the Big Apple.  While season six is still in progress we’ve seen Don careen through his professional and personal life like a bull in a china shop.  Not only did Draper  napalm the Heinz and Jaguar accounts, he started cheating on his Soap Opera actress wife with a married woman–sneaking over when her cardiac surgeon is saving lives.  All the rest is window dressing alongside Don’s descent:  a merger between SCDP and CGC (couldn’t we have just one vowel?), Pete’s retreating hairline, Peggy’s boss-crush (umm, Peg—Preppy McPrepp isn’t leaving his wife for anyone short of Daisy the Stewardess) and Rookie of the Year Bob Benson (“from accounts!  Wharton!  I’ve got two cups of coffee if you want one!”).  Add Harry Hamlin (“Roger Sterling with bad breath’) and Ted McGinley (SHARK ALERT!) to the mix and you’ve got just enough to make me sit through Sally & Bobby Draper’s scenes.  Kids just don’t fare well on this show– even Roger’s adult daughter was irritating in her limited run.

The Office– Bob Benson would be such a good Regional Manager at Dunder-Mifflin.  At its best this was one incredibly nuanced show of equal parts sweet, sour and sublime.  From Jim and Pam to Jim vs. Dwight to “I’M PRISON MIKE!”.  Ringmaster Steve Carell was the crazy glue that kept what seemed like 20 plot points working like coordinated oars in the water.   Nobody said the wrong thing at the right time better or more often.  After Michael Scott’s departure the rudderless ship foundered over the last two years but finally finds port this week.  It’s time to say goodbye… I have the same regard for “New Jim” and “Dwight Jr” as I did for “Coy & Vance Duke” and am just glad there’s not a “Poor Richard’s Pub After Dark” where today’s hottest artists happen to make tour stops.  But I still dream of a “Threat Level Midnight 2–Electric Boogaloo”.

How I Met Your Mother– And of course I’d have to go see “The Wedding Bride III” the next day.  The consistently uneven season ends–and we actually get a payoff for the third straight finale:  two years ago we learned Barney was going to be the groom at “the wedding” (How crazy!  He’s the ultimate bachelor!)…last year we learned Robin would be the bride (How crazy!  She hates marriage and he’s engaged to a stripper!).  This year we actually see “the mother”–Cristin Milioti shows up to buy one ticket to Farhampton with umbrella and bass in tow (How crazy!  We were used to being stringed along!).  Highlights include Billy Zabka at the bachelor party and Ted’s “45 days” speech.  Lowlights include Marshall’s disappearance,  Robin’s descent from confident career woman to Barney-obsessed and “Who Wants to Be a Godparent”.  Now the show’s final season will be devoted to wrapping things up.  But how will they?  I’ve heard everything from them having Ted meet the mother in the first 1 to 3 episodes…get to know her and then marry her in the finale (which they have to do to line things up for a 15 year old daughter in the 2030 flash-forwards) to all 24 episodes covering “Barney and Robin’s Wedding Weekend” with flashbacks of how each in the gang got to meet the mother– which will become exhausting.   Unless Billy Zabka’s there.  And yes, I refuse to call him William. 

The Americans–  what do I call the husband?  Phillip JenningsClark Herbert Westerfield?  Or whatever Russian name he actually goes by?  In honor of Kevin Costner in “No Way Out”, I’m going with Yuri.  Maybe they can use the same shed at Arlington National Cemetary in season two– and even board the Metro at the Georgetown stop.  Word is the show “Alias” was pitched as “Felicity’s a spy” to ABC– so it’s only fitting Keri Russell a decade and a half after playing Felicity becomes a spy.  And even if she cuts her hair (DONT!) she’ll have a wide assortment of wigs.  Perhaps it’s the spy story motif, the protagonists as KGB sleeper cel agents or the early 80’s outfits and music that makes this work (“Games Without Frontiers” the perfect coda to the season finale).  Maybe it’s because everybody is lying about something to another character at some time or another–and they kind of know it (there hasn’t been this much serial dishonesty in a cast since “Casablanca”).  Perhaps it’s the sense of fear because we know and see how good the KGB couple is at undermining our national security–and we see and know how woefully unlucky and occasionally incompetent our people are.  In a world where one of my shows makes it’s necessary departure, another probably should have taken its final bow and a third is behaving like the college student taking 3 courses a semester to reason the 6 year plan, it’s nice to see it’s “morning” for “The Americans”.  Good to see I’m moving forward with one show set in 1968 and another in 1981.  Phillip/Clark/Yuri,  meet Don Draper/Dick Whitman.

Happy Valentine’s Week everyone…while all of my male readers (hint, hint) are busy buying flowers and chocolates (one even gets his special someone flowers made of chocolate) the local fan bases try to figure out where their hoop relationships are headed.  Is there a future here?  Will there be heartache ahead?  And are they “just not that into this year’s team”?  Because a college basketball team can thrill you on Tuesday but leave you confounded on Saturday.  And there’s only so many times a team can redeem itself after forgetting to call…text or appear to be hitting on other people.

Georgetown (18-4, 8-3) remains the hottest team in the Big East with six straight wins… avenging a 49-48 poke your eyes out with a fork loss at Marquette by holding off a Golden Eagles rally 63-55.  While this wasn’t a beautiful game (33 combined turnovers, a sub 40% shooting night for the Hoyas)  coach John Thompson III’s team grinds its way to another victory.  With a limited bench (33 minutes between D’Vauntes Smith-Rivera and Moses Ayegba),  the solid play of Otto Porter Jr. (21 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 steals) continues to be a catalyst.  They’ll need him to play even better during a finishing kick that involves #6 Syracuse twice plus NCAA contenders Connecticut and Cincinnati.  Buckle up.

Alma Mater Update– the Orange (20-3, 8-3) welcome back senior James Southerland from academic issues…giving their lineup needed depth and their offense another option in Sunday’s 77-58 win over St. John’s.  While watching the game one saw Red Storm assistant coach Gene Keady minus his trademark dyed black hair combover… much like seeing the Lone Ranger without his mask, Magnum minus his mustache, Dylan McKay without sideburns or Barney Stinsen unsuited…you get the picture.  The final tour through the Big East involves four ranked teams over the final five games of the regular season… but first a trip to UConn.  Sadly, Sign of the Whale has a private party planned and there aren’t a lot of places that offer wings by the 44’s.

Maryland (17-7, 5-6) missed a golden chance to move towards sitting at the big table.  Fresh off their first ACC road win, the Terps hosted a Virginia team that hadn’t won a league game outside its home state.  Instead, the Cavaliers hit 11-19 three pointers and owned the glass (first time the Terps had been outrebounded all season) in an 80-69 loss for Mark Turgeon’s team.  The buzz that surrounded the storming of the court against NC State has faded with the Wolfpack becoming an ordinary team…and their other four ACC wins are against schools with losing records.  Not just losing league records… but losing overall marks.  Now #2 Duke to come to Comcast.  Will an offense that sometimes can’t get out of its own way (15 turnovers per game) right itself despite not having a pure point guard?  Will Alex Len and Dez Wells be able to shoulder more of the load as it’s almost guarranteed a consistent third threat won’t emerge?

Cruising the Commonwealth– when Virginia (18-6, 8-3) met Virginia Tech (11-13, 2-9) January 24th…the two schools were tied in the ACC standings with 2-2 records and the game turned on a 19-0 first half run by the Cavaliers.  In the five games in between their battle in Blacksburg and Tuesday’s tilt in Charlottesville, UVa won 4 of 5 while the Hokies lost 5 straight.  And once again a huge first half run swung the game Virginia’s way (this time a pedestrian 12-0 run)…as the Cavaliers complete a regular season sweep with a 73-55 thumping.  Joe Harris (26 pts, 5-7 from 3) shines while Virginia Tech’s Erick Green (22 pts, 4-17FG) fails to make a basket in the second half.  The path ahead has four of the next six games on the road for Tony Bennett’s team (with one of the home games against Duke)– starting with a trip to Chapel Hill Saturday.  The Hokies have things even tougher in the weeks ahead:  two games against Duke plus contests against league leader, the defending champ and preseason favorite.  Can they catch a break against Clemson or Wake in March?

George Mason (14-10, 7-5) missed a chance to move into second place of the CAA… suffering a maddening 79-72 loss to Delaware where they outshot the Blue Hens (44 to 39%),  held their own on the boards (getting outrebounded 38-35) and turned the ball over only 8 times.  Sherrod Wright had another rough day (4-16 shooting and 1-6 from 3 point range)…the junior hasn’t made 50% of his shots since January 12th.  But the Patriots have to be encouraged by double doubles from Jonathan Arledge and Erik Copes…both need to be threats for Wright to get the room he needs on the perimeter to operate.  Right now the chase is on for a spot in the top five and a first round CAA Tournament bye (as VCU left there are just 11 schools).

George Washington (11-11, 5-4) trailed #14 Butler early but rallied to within a missed three pointer of taking the Bulldogs to overtime.  Shooting 28% (and going scoreless for 8 minutes) while shooting 1 for 12 from 3-point range is no way to knock off the conference leader… and instead GW slips into a 7th place tie of the sixteen school Atlantic 10.  They face a VCU team that’s already had its midseason hiccup Saturday;  but after that the Colonials will play 4 of 6 against schools with losing A10 marks.

Maryland Womens’ Window– let’s just say the Terrapin faithful won’t be missing Cameron Indoor when they move to the Big Ten.  The Terps lost to the Blue Devils 71-56…in a game where coach Brenda Frese picked up two technicals and spent the final 3:51 in the locker room.  From the beginning the game was overly physical– Duke’s constant slapping at the ball contributed to the Terps 24 turnovers– and Maryland somehow found itself 10 points down in the first half before rallying to take a 44-42 lead.  But the Blue Devils and Chelsea Gray (28 points) were just too much to handle… closing the game on a 29-12 run.  On the bright side– Tierney Pfirman is expected to be back soon (she’s shooting for Sunday at Virginia)… and Duke comes to Comcast in less than two weeks.  Should be interesting.

American (9-14, 4-4) has won two straight thanks to the emergence of John Schoof (17.5PPG on 12 of 17 shooting) and the usual solid play from Stephen Lumpkins (posting his 10th double double of the season Saturday against Colgate).  While they may not match up well with Lehigh they led the Mountain Hawks (my Uncle Jimmy still wishes his alma mater went by the Engineers nickname) by 14 last month.  Can AU win three straight games for the first time all season?

Howard (6-19, 3-8) finished two points shy of winning a third straight game…slipping 53-51 to Morgan State.  Tre Lee’s nightmare evening (1-10, 4 turnovers) contributed to a poor shooting night for the Bison (36%)… although Anton Dickerson had his best game in two years (17 points off the bench).  The late season surge can certainly continue:  three of Howard’s next four opponents are at least ten games under five hundred… with Bethune Cookman the exception at 9-16.

The change of stage almost always means needing to recast the play.  Longstanding TV shows like M*A*S*H and Cheers had to recast major roles on more than one occasion and came up huge more often than not, from Sherman Potter for Henry Blake to Woody Boyd for Coach.  Beverly Hills 90210 recast in the fast food manner:  subbing bad boy rich guy Noah for bad boy rich guy Dylan while bringing on trampy Gina Cincaid for slutty Vallerie.  One aspect not dealt with is during Maryland’s move to the Big Ten is how easy the new league will fill the Terps’ requirements for various nemeses.  Each school in the Terps’ future league matches up with an opponent they’ve been facing regularly for 8 to 59 years, with a few variations.

Duke=Indiana.  Forgettable football with a fan base that always points to the banners hanging in their eccentric building.

North Carolina=Michigan.  Strong public university with plenty of league titles but fewer national championships than you would think.

NC State=Michigan State. Looked down upon by the blueblood school in their own state, this kid brother can win and often does to the dismay of their “betters”.

Virginia=Penn State.  Neighboring state schools that kind of look down on College Park for whatever reason (Thomas Jefferson founded them…Terps are 1-35-1 against them).

Virginia Tech=Wisconsin.  Solid football programs to anybody under 50… with basketball that’s not always easy to digest.

Wake Forest=Northwestern.  Private schools in a sea of public school sharks.

Clemson=Iowa.  Remote locales that are never easy to get to…with football that feels like it should be better and basketball that can’t turn the corner.

Georgia Tech=Purdue.  Always hitting the blueblood ceiling…and I think you have to do well in math to go there.

Miami=Nebraska.  Football heavy, hoop light.

Boston College=Minnesota.  Coldest corner of the conference.

Syracuse=Illinois.  Orange and blue colors.  Jim Brown and Dick Butkus.  But Boeheim has outlasted Henson, Kruger, Self and Weber.

Pitt=Rutgers.  Both football teams went unbeaten in 1976.  Both hate Penn State.