With the NFL Draft still a day away, my Burgundy & Gold pals are focused on the schedule that was released last week.  I was personally hoping they would release one week at a time each week following the Super Bowl…so right now we’d be breaking down the week 11 matchups.  Sadly that was not the case so instead we got all 17 weeks last Thursday…albeit in prime time.  It took me awhile to catch up with by Skinsanity Siblings, Postive Pete and Pessimist Paul.  They now provide their exclusive analysis:

September 9- at Arizona, 4:25 pm.  The Cardinals have a new coach in Steven Wilks and a new quarterback in Ryan Reynolds lookalike Sam Bradford–unless the brittle one gets banged up in the preseason.  Bring on the Alex Smith era–he’s going to carve up the Cardinals D while the Skins will sack Bradford into submission (Cardinals allowed the third-most sacks in the NFL last year).  Will we even see Smith in the preseason?  If there’s one thing the Skins do well, it’s rest starters in August–only to be smacked upside the head in September.

September 16- Indianapolis, 1 pm.  It’s a semi-homecoming for Colts coach Frank Reich, who played quarterback at the University of Maryland in the 1980’s.  It’s also the home opener for the Skins, so expect the usual traffic issues.    Will Andrew Luck’s arm still be attached to his body?  I hear he’s throwing NERF balls.  Thank you NFL for scheduling us to a 2-0 start!  AFC fans ALWAYS pack FedEx Field–because they know their team plays once every eight years in Landover and Skins fans care less about games with Miami or Jacksonville.  Home field disadvantage leads to one sorry afternoon.

September 23- Green Bay, 1 pm.  Aaron Rodgers comes to town as the Packers try to bounce back from a rare non-playoff season.  Which is the opposite of how things work in these parts.  Funny how the cheese-heads root for a swiss cheese defense. How do you like me now?  Oops, wrong quarterback.  A healthy Rodgers will be tough enough…but to finally face a team with their stuff together will certainly catch the Skins off-guard.  Bring on the bye week…

Monday October 8- at New Orleans, 8:15 pm.  The site of last year’s fourth quarter collapse welcomes the Skins back after a way-too-early bye week.  Doesn’t it feel like they take their hiatus in September every other year?  Chris Thompson stays healthy and finishes the job this time–and the Redskins enact revenge on an aging Drew Brees.  The defense isn’t much better than 2017–and the Skins have had performance issues on Monday night to begin with.  Add into the equation a stay in the Crescent City?

October 14- Carolina, 1 pm. Redskins battle playoff teams on back to back weeks after their bye.  We should know if this team is a contender or a pretender by now.  Cam Newton isn’t all that…and Charlotte is technically still Redskins Country.  So their fan base isn’t even there to travel well.  Pretender. Man, Cam’s tough to bring down…and not having Kendall Fuller has to haunt the Skins’ secondary sooner or later–right?  Pretender.

October 21- Dallas, 4:25 pm.  How is this game on CBS?  Not a fan of the NFL flipping games to other networks.  Dak Prescott looked so-so last year minus Ezekiel Elliott– I have a feeling he’s going to look pedestrian without Dez Bryant.  Somehow the Cowboys bring out the worst in the Skins-and it’ll happen again.

October 28- at NY Giants, 1 pm.  The Skins are back in their familiar slot–this being one of ten scheduled 1 pm games.  Just be thankful there isn’t a 9:30 London game this year.  The Fall of the House of Eli continues with the Skins taking advantage of a rebuilding franchise.  Somehow one feels that last year was an aberration–for the Giants being bad and the Redskins being good.

November 4- Atlanta, 1 pm.  The NFL is having the Burgundy & Gold blow through the NFC East in short succession with four games against that division over six weeks.  Matt Ryan can’t be efficient forever, right?  Shame the Skins can’t get a top-3 pick for a QB.  One doesn’t feel confident in a defense that played well in 2017–but didn’t make the plays when it mattered.

November 11- at Tampa Bay, 1pm.  Will the Buccaneers at least be wearing their creamsicle uniforms?   Nobody plays the ambiguous pirate card better.  The Redskins beat a bottom-feeder on their way to the postseason…you like that?!  Sorry again, wrong QB.  Last year the Skins went 2-6 on the road…and the Buccaneers are in bounce-back mode with a quarterback that’s tough to bring down.

November 18- Houston, 1pm.  The Texans were a quarterback away from being good last year…only to start Deshaun Watson.  And then once they found their QB of the future they lost him for the present to injury.  The Texans defense is a shell of its former self…and by now Alex Smith and the offense will be humming like nothing else.  For the third straight year the Skins have to play Sunday and Thursday on Thanksgiving week. The tight turnaround hurts a team both ways.

Thursday, November 22- at Dallas, 4:30 pm.  The Ghost of Clint Longley haunts the Redskins one holiday after Halloween.  And nothing good ever happens on November 22nd in Dallas.  If #2 overall pick RG3 can win in Arlington TX on Turkey Day, why not #1 overall selection Alex Smith?  A short prep week, bad sun through the Jerry World windows and the triumph of an uncluttered mind all give Skins fans indigestion.

Monday, December 3- at Philadelphia, 8:15 pm.  Skins play the defending Super Bowl champs twice in the last month of the season.  Couldn’t they have gotten one game in with the Eagles minus Carson Wentz?  Eleven days to prepare for the Eagles?  How can you not feel good?  The Skins had ten days to prepare for the Chargers last year–and got roasted on the road.

December 9- NY Giants, 1 pm.  The third straight NFC East game will no doubt have playoff implications, as the Redskins will either be winning their fifth straight to jump into contention…or be 5-6-1 and need a victory to stay on the precipice of elimination.  Have we already done the “Eli is old” thing?  I can’t wait to see who they take with the #2 pick in the draft…perhaps a quarterback that gets his first start in week 13?  Part of me fears they take Saquon Barkley–and he powers the Giants to the division title while becoming the headache to the Skins that Tiki Barber was (minus the bleep-eating grin).

December 16- at Jacksonville, 1 pm.  UH-OH!!! I command you to go on youtube.com and check out “Uh Oh- the Jacksonville Jaguars Super Bowl Song”. It’s a beaut.  What is it with the two-tone helmets?  The Jags can’t possibly be competitive consecutive years with that ham sandwich playing quarterback.  The Jaguars play December ball- good defense, solid special teams and minimal mistake-making offense…something foreign to the Skins.

December 22-23, at Tennessee, TBA.  Not just flexed from 1pm to 4pm or 8pm on Sunday—but flexed Saturday OR Sunday.  Can you believe the Titans fired coach Ken Whisenhunt after they went 9-7 and won a playoff game?  Wow- you only get fired as Skins coach if you go 4-12 (Zorn) or 3-13 (Shanahan).  Christmas comes early for the Burgundy & Gold as Alex Smith punches their playoff ticket with a win in the Music City.  Sour notes of the season continue as the hanging by a thread Skins are eliminated with another underwhelming loss.

December 30, Philadelphia 1 pm.  The season ends against the defending champs…I don’t know if you heard, but the Eagles ended a 57-year championship drought this past February.  Does this mean the Skins have to wait until 2049?  Okay, so Philly rolls to a second straight NFC East title.  Simply allows the Skins to have their way en route to locking up #1 wildcard berth.  If we can return Christmas presents the week after the holiday, what is the return policy on Alex Smith?  Another losing season ends in Landover.