Robert Griffin III made headlines this past month when his wedding registry was revealed at Bed, Bath & Beyond and fans bought RG3 and his fiancée a slew of gifts. He then had the nerve to pose in front of empty boxes and put it on his twitter feed, thanking his fans. The nerve! Actually, Robert Griffin III makes headlines just by being RG3.   He could tie his shoe on the corner of M and 20th in DC and that would be the lead (“RG3 uses bunny in the hole shoe-tying method”).  But much was made about the Redskins quarterback accepting gifts from strangers…instead of doing the “right thing” and donating them to charity.

There are other questions in the mix…do you get the QB and his wife to be Burgundy and Gold colors in everything? Or should you give a nod to their Baylor background and throw in some green and gold? Is there anything in “Maroon and Black”? And would he get the reference? (truth be told I once led the league in references not understood). Which unlucky individual saw the registry and said “darn it– they only have ceremonial towels left”. Can you have too many ceremonial towels?  And who stole my thunder getting them a waffle maker?

For the record, I knew about the registry and I learned that Bed, Bath & Beyond sold an impressive fleet of waffle makers. But I chickened out in getting the future Griffins one. How do you maintain your journalistic integrity if you’re buying a player/coach you don’t really deal with much a wedding present?  Exactly.  Now back to my blog on waffle makers.

You see, the waffle maker is more than just a cooking tool. It is a matrimony magnifier. It means Saturday mornings spent together as a newly married couple, working together and sharing the fruits of your labor…often with fruit atop said metaphorical fruits. A waffle maker puts two people from different families (insert West Virginia joke here) with different recipes at the same counter combining nutmeg and cinnamon in just the right way that will be perfect for only them.  A waffle maker can mean breakfast in bed on the first anniversary–and sometimes means drafting your firstborn as a “trusty assistant” down the road.  A waffle maker also means I might get a decent meal after I crash on somebody’s couch.

That’s why I have an impressive 7-year run in getting friends waffle makers as wedding presents.  The exception was a 24 Season 2 DVD.  You be the judge.